Tuesday, September 27, 2011

I'm Going!

On September 2nd I wrote this post - prayerfully, hopefully. When I didn't get picked in the drawing, I resigned myself to the fact that this particular dream was not going to come true.

I have often prayed about something I have dearly wanted, thinking that I was willing to accept whatever answer the Father gave. My words certainly testified to that willingness, but I quickly discovered that often the heart says something entirely different. When the answer is no, I am not always content.

This time was a bit different. I meant it when I left the dream of a Writers Retreat in His hands. It was too important to let my rebellious self push its way ahead. I wanted more than anything to know if the dream was mine alone or somehow one He had placed in my heart.

I had planned to attend the retreat, but when our house finally sold after all that time I knew it simply wasn't in the budget. We were so grateful for this gracious answer to prayer I just couldn't be disappointed. The drawing at High Calling gave a glimmer of hope but even when that didn't work out I knew it would be all right. I determined to be content - to accept His will without debating, whining and complaining. I truly wanted to know if writing was His plan for me.

The email found its way to my inbox long after I had stopped even thinking about the Retreat. When I saw who it was from, my heart skipped a beat. She is such a precious friend, and I love getting even just a small note from her. Her life has changed dramatically over the past year, leaving her with little time to write.

She was writing to say that the Holy Spirit had been nudging her, and she was giving me a gift. She is making it possible for me to attend the retreat. I am still overwhelmed at such a gift. The tears still come when I think about it. I cannot imagine such a gift.

It comes wrapped in her love and tied with the ribbon of God's unending grace. That He would love me so much - I simply cannot take it in.

I am going - to this beautiful place with some of the most amazing writers I know. I am going with a heart filled with wonder and gratitude. I am going with a determination to listen and learn. I am going!!!

Thank you with all my heart my precious friend. I love you.