Friday, July 26, 2013

Heartbroken

I have written 1,240 posts since I began blogging nearly seven years ago. This post, this 1,241st post, is by far the most difficult one I've ever written.

For days I have struggled - trying to decide whether or not I would ever write another. Part of my heart wanted to quietly walk away - the other part desperately needed to find words. Not just any words - true words - so that blessing might somehow be birthed from the pain.

I have wanted, always, to be honest and transparent in this little place - to give to those who may happen by, something from the gift of encouragement He has crafted into my heart. I have found that there are some things that cannot be spoken - things that are too deeply personal and meant only for one. The story can be told; the details may need to be kept close to the heart.

My heart quickened a bit when I saw that Lisa-Jo had chosen "broken" for today's Five Minute Friday word. It was, I think, a gentle nudge to quietly write the words I feel free to share:

Broken

start:

I hardly know where to begin. Our hearts are broken. Grief bears down and it is difficult to walk through the days.

On the day of my husband's back surgery - the one we've been waiting for for months - our son-in-law Nicolas passed away. Our daughter, Lisa, waited until the following day to call from their apartment in France - so very far away. She was concerned about her Dad - didn't want to upset him.

So we are here, and she is there - an ocean and thousands of miles separate us. There are so many there to love and support her, but how we long to be with her.

Soon. She will come home soon.

We are numb and hurting and sometimes wonder if perhaps it was all just a bad dream. 

It is in these moments, these heart wrenching moments, when we lean into the truth of all God is. He is our peace and comfort. He is faithful and good - a loving God who never leaves or forsakes. Everything that comes to us passes through His hands - hands of grace and mercy.

So we trust, and He comes gently - His tears mingled with ours - to make all things good in His time.

stop



Linking with Lisa-Jo today on her FB page

Blessings,
Linda 

46 comments:

Sarah Dawneé said...

Oh, dear Linda, my heart aches for your aching heart and the grief that you and those you love are going through. May peace wash over all of you in the midst of this time and pain.

Love and prayers,
Sarah

Sandra Heska King said...

Oh sweet friend. This is so awful. I don't have words, just a heart that breaks with your shattered one. Lifting all of you up before the Father and so wishing I could just sit with you. Much love.

Lyla Willingham Lindquist said...

So, so sorry, Linda.

Sitting quietly with you.

Angela said...

Praying for you all, and trusting the promises of Isaiah 43- even through the deepest waters, He will be with you, and with those you love xx

lil red hen said...

Oh such a sad, sad thing..so young..God bless you and your grieving family. I know you will be of much comfort to your daughter when she comes to be with you.

Deb Colarossi said...

oh , Linda. I am in tears. So so very sorry. Peace be with you . All of you xoxo

Linda said...

Thank you so much Deb.

Linda said...

Thank you Charlotte.

Anonymous said...

I'm so very sorry. And standing with you - may you all know His comfort and loving arms around you. You are not alone, that is a certainty.

Carrie said...

I'm so sorry for your family's loss. You all will be close to my heart. May God strengthen you.

Amy Tilson said...

Hugs would be yours if I could reach through this screen to you. I am so sorry for your heartbreak. Through your loss you have indeed given an encouraging gift today. God bless you all through this time of healing.

Amy Tilson said...

Hugs would be yours if I could reach through this screen to you. I am so sorry for your heartbreak. Through your loss you have indeed given an encouraging gift today. God bless you all through this time of healing.

Kelly Mahalak said...

My heart breaks for you and your family. There are no words, I know. So I will lift you up in prayer and sit quietly with you. Know in your grief you are not alone.

Anonymous said...

Oh, sweet Linda...I am so sorry for your loss. I'm praying for you, your daughter, and your family. May God wrap each of you in His arms and hold you close during this time.

Melissa H said...

Sweet, sweet broken momma. Jesus, be near.

Tonya Salomons said...

My heart is breaking for you. Praying deep knee bending prayers!

Rebekah said...

Linda - my heart aches for you in this moment. Praying for peace and rest for you and your family at this time. I pray that you feel His presence near you in the quiet.

Linda said...

Thank you so much for your sweet, comforting words. It means so much to me.

Jody Lee Collins said...

Oh, Linda, I imagine there are no words for the pain. You will be in my prayers in the days ahead.

Linda said...

Thank you Carrie. I am so grateful for your loving concern.

Linda said...

Amy
Your words are like a gentle hug. Thank you so much.

Linda said...

It is such a comfort to know others are praying. Thank you for your gentle grace Kelly.

Linda said...

Thank you dear Melissa.

Linda said...

Tonya, your prayers are a gift. Thank you so much.

Linda said...

Thank you Rebekah. It is such a comfort to know others are praying. We know He is very near - He is a loving Father.

Linda said...

Thank you so much Jody. It is such a comfort to know there are sweet sisters praying.

Ashley Ditto said...

So very sorry to hear. My heart goes out and prayers for you and your family.

Letting the Words Escape said...

So very sorry for your loss. Sending all of you healing prayers. Joining from 5 Minute Friday.

caroline said...

I am so sorry for your loss. Oh that you feel His all-surpassing peace and love. May your precious daughter feel it too. ANd, more so, may you both not only 'feel' it, but KNOW it, well into the depths of your souls. He is good. He can be trusted. Thank you for sharing -- for trusting us. May He receive the glory as you live out 2 Cor. 1:3-4. Bless you.

Gretchen Louise said...

Praying that the God of comfort will hold you and your daughter so close right now...

Linda said...

Thank you so much Gretchen.

Ro Elliott said...

Oh Linda, I am speak less....please know I am lifting your family before the Throne of Grace and Mercy....that the God of all comfort will hold your family ever so tight ....thanks for being so brave in your brokenness.

Ro Elliott said...

Oh Linda, I am speak less....please know I am lifting your family before the Throne of Grace and Mercy....that the God of all comfort will hold your family ever so tight ....thanks for being so brave in your brokenness.

Stephanie said...

Oh my dear Linda, there are no words that will ease your pain, just the sweet comfort and strength of our Lord. My heart goes out to you and your family. Please you know you will be in my prayers and if there is anything I can do don't hesitate to ask!

A friend of mine wrote a wonderful post on her blog today and maybe you might be blessed by reading it. Here is the link: http://littlebirdieblessings.blogspot.com/2013/07/gods-grace-is-sufficient.html

Love and hugs to you!

Dea Moore said...

What grief! So sad to read this tonight. So heartbroken for you and your daughter, all who are hurting...and the distance. it is so much. I am so very sorry. Praying for comfort from the Holy Spirit.

Jacque Watkins said...

Oh LInda, I am so very sorry. And although we've never met, I know you are a friend of many I do know and your name has become so familiar to me. What a shock and how powerless you must feel to not be able to go to her. I love your words here..."Everything that comes to us passes through His hands - hands of grace and mercy.." And they remind me how right you are, He is in control and may we come to know the beauty He can bring of even this. Know I am praying for you, comfort and peace, as you've never known. You are loved! xo

Patricia Hunter said...

(((((Linda)))) You know I'm praying, my dear sweet friend. Much love, Patricia

Sandy said...

Oh my heart aches for you and yours, dear Linda. I am so very saddened to hear such news. You are all in my prayers, especially your sweet daughter. I pray your husband's recovery is quick and without complications.
Love,
Sandy

Laura Boggess said...

Linda! I am broken with you, speechless, in tears. Oh, friend, what to say? If only I could be there with you and hold your hand. I'm so, so sorry. Holding you close over the miles.

Linda said...

Thank you so much Sandy. Your prayers are a gift to us at this time.

Linda said...

Thank you for this sweet note Jacque and for your prayers. I am so grateful.

Bev said...

I am sooooo sorry, praying. xoox

SimplyDarlene said...

as much as i love you

He loves you more

Susanne said...

Linda, I am so sorry for your loss. Praying you will all feel God's hand upholding you and that you may be with your daughter as soon as possible!

Kelli said...

Linda, I am reeling from reading this and my heart aches or all of you. I cannot imagine being so far away from your daughter in a time like this. I pray she has support there in France until y'all are reunited.

We are praying for all of y'all.

Love you.

Virginia Carmichael Munoz said...

I'm so sorry for your loss! I saw Lisajo Baker's note on Twitter and I cant reach out my arms to you, but I can pray. Praying for your peace and comfort, and for bright memories to bring you joy in the very dark time.