Monday, January 13, 2014

My "Resolution"

I am not good at keeping resolutions - no matter what the season. The very thought seems to set me on a collision course with failure. I have long lamented my lack of self-control. It is an on-going matter of prayer - and confession - and prayer.

I've been reading all the wonderful posts about choosing words for the year (I've done that too.), setting goals for healthful dieting, beginning exercise programs and so much more. Really good things.

And yet…even as I read them, I get this sinking feeling right in the pit of my stomach - discouraged before I even begin. I'm weary of the trying.

Over the past several months the Lord has been gently impressing something on my heart. Instead of the trying, suppose I pray without ceasing - an on-going conversation with Him. Moment by moment listening for His voice and then walking in obedience.

How do I spend this one moment Lord?

When the nest is empty, and there is "we two" together all the time, it is difficult to (for me anyway) to adhere to a schedule. It seems the children anchored my days - shaping them into a consistent pattern. These days - the hours fill with unexpected things - and I am never sure from one day to the next what the schedule will be.

So…moment by moment keeps resentment at bay. When my plans are scuttled because an elderly parent needs help, I can listen for His voice and know that it is good. When doctor appointments fill the calendar squares, I can rest in Him and know the things I long to do will wait. When the walk gets postponed time and time again, I know there will be other days.

I know this "plan" may seem rather unambitious and a bit lazy and perhaps it is. As with so many other things I've "declared," I may be back in a few months to say, "You know that moment by moment thing?" I hope not. My prayer is that my moments will be used wisely, that I will truly listen to His voice and do what He says.