Blessed to have heard, and embraced with all my little girl heart, the gospel message at an early age, I wanted nothing more than to please God. Truthfully, I wanted to please everyone - so of course I wanted the Lord to be happy with me. Evidenced by the many times I raised my small hand to receive Jesus into my heart. I guess I wanted to make sure He hadn't missed me - or, perhaps, that my Sunday School teachers understood I was a good girl.
Looking back at that little girl now, I feel a tenderness in my heart toward her. How easy it is for young to minds to process doctrinal teachings, words that don't translate well from adult language to that of children, and come up with a unique theology all their own.
I remember sitting in rapt attention, listening to visiting missionaries, evangelists or people of my own acquaitance give their testimonies. Invariably, at least to my young ears, the one unifying theme was a resistance on the person's part to the call of God on their life and, after a series of disastrous choices, ending up in the very place they had so hoped to avoid.
Ah well, I thought, this means I will one day find myself in the deepest, darkest jungles of South America because I can't think of a scarier place to be. And, obviously, God always makes you go where you least want to be. I will be doing good, but I won't find much joy. Thankfully, I've gotten over that and see things a bit more clearly. Or have I?
Have you ever felt this way? Let's finish the conversation over at Laced With Grace.