Thursday, July 2, 2009

The Exam

Every six months we take this journey. My husband and I have been taking it for over twenty years now. I begin to pray about it several days in advance, asking the Lord to make all things well. I never look forward to it and can't wait until it is over.

All those years ago, years and years of diabetes began to take its toll on my husband. The point of attack was his eyes. It started with bleeding in the back of his eyes as the tiny blood vessels began to break down. The first doctor he saw said there was no hope. He was going blind.

We saw other doctors and after many painful surgeries and laser treatments he did lose the vision in one eye - but the other vision in the other was preserved. It is very fragile, however, so every six months we go for his eye exam.

His eye doctor is heaven-sent - quite literally as far as I'm concerned. He is kind and compassionate, and most importantly, an excellent doctor. We saw him yesterday.

It is always the same. We walk into the examining room and share small talk and laughter. Then he darkens the room and the exam begins. I sit in a chair in a corner and, with butterflies in my stomach, pray. It is so quiet. I wait.

Then the doctor turns, lights up the room again and smiles. "Everything looks great!"
I breath again and softly whisper, "Thank You Lord."

I can't quite explain the joy that fills my heart. It is knowing that all is well; knowing that He has heard and answered my prayer. Most of all it is feeling like a little child caught in the huge embrace of a loving Father. I am so small, and He is so big - and yet He is mindful of me. More than mindful - He is with me.

Father - thank You for loving me.