Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Why Lord?




Far too often I find my mind is a battle field - faith and doubt warring in my heart. One of my memory verses is Psalm 32:7:
"For You are my hiding place. You protect me from trouble. You surround me with songs of victory."

I sometimes say it as I walk, trying to keep the verses I've memorized alive in my little brain. It brings me comfort...until that dart from the enemy finds its mark and I begin the inevitable round of questions.

"If that is true Father, why is there so much suffering? Why do those who love You so dearly and serve You so well have such trouble come into their lives? Why do little children suffer pain and sorrow? Why do evil people do such terrible things?......"

I fight back with the truth I know - that He loves us and will do nothing to harm us. Sometimes the questions persist.

I read something today in my little devotional, "Joy and Strength" that answered the question in a way that could only be the gentle voice of the Spirit:

"Just as soon as we turn toward Him with loving confidence, and say, 'Thy will be done,' whatever chills or cripples or enslaves our spirits, clogs their powers, or hinders their development, melts away in the sunshine of His sympathy. He does not free us from the pain, but from its power to dull the sensibilities; not from poverty and care, but from their tendency to narrow and harden; not from calumny, but from the maddening poison in its sting, not from disappointment, but from the hopelessness and bitterness of thought which it so often engenders. We attain unto this perfect liberty when we rise superior to untoward circumstances, triumph over the pain and weakness of disease, over unjust criticism, the wreck of earthly hopes, over promptings to envy , every sordid and selfish desire, every unhallowed longing, every doubt of God's wisdom and love and kindly care, when we rise into an atmosphere of undaunted moral courage, of restful content, of child-like trust, of holy, all-conquering calm."
William W. Kinsley (b.1837)

In my humanity, I want to think that nothing bad will happen to His children, or if it does, He will miraculously intervene. In truth, He will. It just may not look the way I want it to look.

Where I pray for healing or deliverance from trouble, He may have something else in mind. It doesn't mean He has withheld His love or turned His back. It means He is doing something I cannot see - something of eternal value. He has promised that He would. He asks me to trust Him.

There is the crux of the matter - trust. I have been dragged kicking and screaming into trust. I have wanted my way because I couldn't imagine the circumstances we were walking through could possibly be good or right. He has patiently waited for me to look into His face, listen to His heart, and surrender to a love that knows no bounds.

He is not obligated to answer my questions. His wisdom is so far above mine and His power limitless. He is perfect and holy. He has never failed to keep His word and has loved me unconditionally. Who am I, this broken, unworthy vessel, to question Him? Yet He tenderly draws me to Himself and listens. Often He answers; sometimes He doesn't. Always He is all that He has promised to be. If I will simply trust Him, that is more than enough.

Blessings,
Linda

This is one of those times I am writing to and for myself. I am laying down another stone. I don't want to forget the words He spoke to my heart today.

10 comments:

  1. So very, very true, Linda. I am exactly in that place and have come to exactly that conclusion: He IS intervening, even if it's in ways I can't see or understand right now. All I really need is to trust Him and rest in my knowledge of His character and His nature. He will not harm me, and He will always work everything out for my good--even if it isn't the way I think it should be. He knows best. I will rest in Him.

    Love you,
    Loretta

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  2. I love it that God gives exactly what we need on the day we need it. If He can do that with man's words, just think what He can do with our "situations." TRUST - my word for the year.

    I love to think of it this way - if being a Christian meant that we never had sadness, worry, illness, or all of the other "stuff" of life that we go through, then folks would become Christians just to escape trouble! What would we do if He wasn't there to help us through!?

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  3. PS - did you see the quote I put on my FB status today?

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  4. Hi Linda ~
    Your lovely lavender quilt photo is perfect for spring!
    Your post today echos the feelings of many.
    It's difficult to actually say and want to actually admit that suffering can be a blessing. Jesus says that if we want to live we must die to our 'selves.' Hanging on desperately to self, {which we are conditioned to do} makes the suffering worse... and probably last longer. When we die to self, it brings freedom...
    So easily said though ♥
    Bless you, Linda ~ You bring real thought and feelings to us and we grow too.
    ~Maria

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  5. We know that His ways are so much higher than ours. Sometimes it's hard, but we must keep trusting. Blessings to you, Linda.

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  6. "He will miraculously intervene... it just may not look the way I want it to look."

    Isn't that the hardest part?? I always think I know what's best... how He could perfectly solve such & such... but in His sovereignty, He rarely does it my way. And thankfully, His way is always better. If only I could remember that~

    Have a glorious day, Linda! And thank you for sharing your stones~

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  7. So true, Linda. I think of all the times I've worried needlessly because I simply didn't trust Him. It's so wonderful to record how He's working in our lives and be able to reflect and remember those things later. Lovely "stones."

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  8. I like when you think out loud.
    You bless.

    and while the head can know this, in the moment of it the heart cries out forgetting .

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  9. i derived so much from this post, linda... thank you for being vulnerable on page. love to you, sister... continue on, in trust... e.

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  10. Oh, Linda. These thoughts that come...you are so faithful and strong to give them to HIm. Even in doubt. I admire you, my sweet friend.

    I pray your MOther's Day is special.

    Love you.

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