October 28, 2010
I was just wondering....when You were here on earth, did You ever have one of those mornings? One where you woke up to dark branches etched across a gray sky and felt the weight of discouragement pinning you to the bed?
I felt that way this morning. I tried to pray, but my tongue felt stiff. I thought about You and remembered that You said You experienced everything I would ever have to face. Is it possible that You too felt this weight pressing on Your heart? You - who knew how it would all end.
Were there times the rejection stung - wounding to the very heart of You - especially when it was Your own family? Were there days You wanted to give up - days when those closest to You simply didn't understand and stooped to petty disagreements over who would be greatest?
Did You get weary of having every word and action scrutinized, criticized, and challenged? Didn't it hurt when all they wanted was a miraculous side-show and You longed to give them so much more?
How did You walk through the days knowing one closest to You would one day betray You? Weren't there mornings, when You longed to open Your eyes and find Yourself back home, safe in the arms of Your Father?
If all, or any of that is true Lord Jesus, how did You manage to get up every morning and faithfully do what You had been called to do? My problems seem small in comparison to all of those things You suffered, but there are days when they loom large.
If You have the time, could You write back and let me know? Thank You so much.
With all my love,
"“Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed” (Mark 1:35)
"But He Himself would often slip away to the wilderness and pray." ( Luke 5:16)
"And it was at this time that He went off to the mountain to pray, and He spent the whole night in prayer to God." ( Luke 6:12)
I love you too,
linking to Emily's imperfect prose