Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Feeling Sorry For Me
This is about the way I feel right now - "exhaustified." No one who knows me well would describe me as a Type A personality. I am quite the opposite. Weeks like this one, days filled to the brim with things to do outside my home, leave me feeling depleted. I'm not quite sure how to describe myself - perhaps introvert is the word I'm looking for. It isn't that I don't like to be with people. I love to be with people. It's just that after I've spent measurable time with others, I need to have a little bit of time alone.
There are seasons that don't accommodate that need, and, I confess, I begin to feel sorry for myself. I find myself whining inwardly about all the "stuff" I have to do and what about the things I want to do and can't I have a little time to myself.... well you get the idea.
I received a gentle reprimand about the whining the other day. Have you noticed how the Father tends to do that? I was in the middle of a really great pity party when He said (through the writings of Elizabeth Prentiss):
"If you love Him as I want you to do, you will offer Him the whole use of your day, as you open your eyes to the light of each morning, to be spent in active service or silent suffering, according to His good pleasure. You will not select the most agreeable task, but His task, whatever it may be; you will not disdain humble service, or be ambitious for distinguished service; you will lie, like a straw, on the current of His will, to be swept away and be forgotten, if it pleases Him, or to be caught up by His mighty hand and transformed thereby into a thunderbolt."
"...like a straw, on the current of His will..." I love that. Have you noticed that on those days when you feel as though you simply don't have anything to give and even less inclination to try, He is there? And at the end of such a day, don't you know in your heart that you are the one who has been blessed? "Exhaustified" perhaps, but blessed nonetheless.