Thursday, July 28, 2011

Wholehearted Looking



There are no two snowflakes exactly alike. I have driven through blinding snowstorms, flakes racing toward the windshield, and I can hardly believe the miracle of it. Each one unique. The thought comforts me when I wish to be more like someone else. I am uniquely designed - a pattern that will never be repeated.

One of the things that makes this "snowflake" unique also renders me the person law enforcement officials would least like to have as the only witness to a crime. I would be no help in recalling the details - none. I am one of those people who can spend hours visiting you in your home and not remember what color the carpeting was. I may not even remember what you were wearing. I often wish I could be different, more observant. I feel as though a little piece is missing from my makeup.

I will, however, remember you. I will absorb your feelings and remember your words. If there is an underlying sadness in our conversation I will sense it - even if you say that all is well. If there are others in the room I will know if there is an unspoken tension or something amiss. I am bombarded by sensations of the heart. Perhaps it is the reason I feel exhausted when I arrive home and long for a quiet space.

I love to be with others - need to be with others. It is just that I invest heavily and need that time alone to breathe deeply.

I have been "stuck" on a verse for some time now. It is found in Jeremiah. His words often linger in my heart.

"And in those days when you pray I will listen. If you look for Me wholeheartedly, you will find Me."
Jeremiah 29: 12,13

Do I look wholeheartedly? The question sits heavily. What does it really mean? Surely He isn't making it difficult for me to find Him. Perhaps... perhaps it is simply doing what He has already graciously programmed into me - to focus on Him to the exclusion of all the things that surround me. To look into His face and see, not color of eyes or shape of nose, but who He is. To listen to His words and not be distracted by a thousand other things.

I know that when I do this, this wholehearted looking, I am not exhausted or depleted or in need of alone time. I am filled and refreshed. He gives me more than I can ever give Him in return. He waits...I simply have to look.

Blessings,
Linda

6 comments:

S. Etole said...

So much energy in your words. Thank you for that verse.

lil red hen said...

Linda, your post today brought to mind the beautiful song, "Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus."

Alan Jackson does a wonderful job singing it:

Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face;
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim
In the light of His glory and grace.
Blessings, Charlotte

Laura said...

The you that I know does, I think--look wholeheartedly. And gives so much. I feel this: I will, however, remember you. I will absorb your feelings and remember your words...

This is me too :). Maybe that's why I love you so much. If we got to sit down together for an extended time, just think! We wouldn't need to talk. We could just sense what the other is thinking! Joking, of course, but this makes me smile to think.

Beth said...

I see myself in your description! You put somethings about myself in perspective for me (you're so good at that).
My devotions lately have also seemed to center on devoting time to God, focusing on God, "looking wholeheartedly," and other similar directions.

Anonymous said...

Lovely thoughts, Linda. I think that you have a real gift in being so sensitive to others. I have experienced it myself, and know that you are an encouragement to me and no doubt many others. I understand though the need for space and refreshment through alone time and time with the Lord. You are right, He gives us so much more than we could ever give Him.

Christie said...

You are wholehearted. That is why you don't notice insignificant details. You look and listen with your whole heart. You have a good antenna on you also. God is pleased with your kind. You are a refreshment to all who come near you. Hugs.