Monday, November 5, 2012

Pulling Back (really)

I feel very much the way this sweet little girl looks. I'm coming, shuffling my feet, praying you'll understand. I am embarrassed to think about the number of posts I've written declaring I was going to be cutting back on time spent on-line; that I was going to get more balance in my life; that I would be reading and commenting less.....yadda, yadda yadda.

Every single time, I slipped right back into my old familiar pattern. I reasoned that I needed to be an encourager (After all, isn't that what some people said I was?), and a good encourager reads all the posts and leaves comments every single time. The truth is - I was completely lacking in self-control and operating out of this inherent need for approval.

In the meantime, my husband sees more of the back of my laptop than my face, my piano is collecting dust, there are unfinished knitting and sewing projects, there are letters unwritten, phone calls not made, books on the night stand, a book waiting to be written....the list goes on and on.

I watched all of the talks from the Allume Conference and knew the Lord was speaking directly to me. It is way past time to make some changes. I am thoroughly sick of my big self. So......I will be a bit scarce around here from now on. I plan to write posts as often as I can (maybe I'll get more written this way!), and comment as time allows, but I am going to have to strictly limit my time on-line.

Just today, while I was doing my Bible Study Beth Moore hit me right between the eyes with this:

"What if we really believed that if we seek God's kingdom and His righteousness, everything else of true value would be given to us (Matt 6:33)"

It is difficult for me to pull back. My heart hurts to think I might lose some friends in the process. I would ask if there is anything you would like me to pray about, please let me know. I am apt to miss some things, but I promise to do whatever I can.

I love you,