Tuesday, February 23, 2016

Thinking Out Loud

I'm dusting off this little space - clearing out the cobwebs. It's been two weeks since I've written here. At first there simply wasn't the time - our little calendar squares filled with appointments for us and for my aging parents. Then I came down with a nasty cold (note to self: don't ever say you never get sick!). Finally - weariness and a shadow across my usually sunny disposition kept me away.

The longer I've remained quiet, the more I question whether coming back is the right thing to do. There is a certain freedom in stepping away from social media - that self-imposed pressure to keep up and keep in touch.

I scrolled back through my old posts a short while ago and was reminded I have been in this place a number of times before - announcing an end to blogging only to return a short while later. It seems I need to write.

In less than three weeks we'll be traveling to Dallas to watch our oldest granddaughter get married. It occurs to me - I'm getting old! I want to live my days well. Right now that involves a lot of listening - to the precious ones the Lord has placed in my life and to Him.

In some ways I feel like an "aging adolescent" - trying to figure out what exactly it is I'm meant to do with my life. I'd like to think a part of that involves some writing. I don't know any more what form it should take. For now, I think I'll go slowly - writing here when my heart is too full to keep silent, pulling back a bit from FB, and taking the pressure off myself to keep up.

There's always the danger of coming across as whiny and self-centered when we think out loud. I don't mean to. It just helps me to get the thoughts tumbling around in my mind in order when I write them out. When I sat down to write this, I had every intention of closing down the blog and walking away from social media altogether. However, this is what came out (as disorganized and rambling as it is). I know - I have trouble understanding myself sometimes too!