Thursday, October 8, 2009

Some Thoughts on Prayer

It is time to take a little break from blogging - just until life settles down a bit for us. My Dad is taking little steps toward regaining his strength. We are thankful - to our heavenly Father and to you who have so faithfully carried us with your prayers and encouraging words.

I'm not sure why it is, but it seems that in times of great difficulty I find it hard to quiet my heart and spend time with the Lord. There are those brief prayers that are cries for help, but I feel incapable of sitting quietly to pray and read the word. There is so much going on, and when the quiet moments come my mind reels with all the "what ifs".

Years ago, when I had major back surgery for scoliosis, I was flat on my back for weeks. I had planned to spend lots of time drawing close to the Lord. The reality was, I couldn't even really pray. The same is true when I walk through the most difficult of circumstances. My initial reaction is to withdraw from the very One I need most.

It is the reason the prayers of others mean so much. For those times when I am not able to pray, they are interceding on my behalf.

I don't do well if it goes on too long - this "prayerlessness". I feel so distanced from the Lord - so lost and empty - and ashamed of myself for drifting away. He never moves. He is always just a whisper away. I am the one who wanders. When I finally reach out to Him, He draws me close. His love and grace overwhelm me.