Thursday, June 3, 2010

When I Am Afraid

"But when I am afraid, I will put my trust in You."
Psalm 56:3

Under my bed, all through my childhood, was a big blue box. It held all my special momentoes. Hidden among the childish drawings, handmade cards, sea shells, report cards, little awards, and an assortment of things that I had picked up along my journey was a crumpled up little handkerchief. I had carried it with me on the very first day of school. A day when I cried and cried, longing for the security of home. My Mom had saved it all those years.

I was a painfully shy, timid little girl - happiest when I was at home or doing something with my family.



I loved the daylight but dreaded the night. My overactive imagination went into overdrive as the darkness fell. Lying in my little bed, strange noises or threatening shadows playing on the bedroom walls would sometimes keep me awake for long hours. Every frightening thing I had seen or heard loomed large in my little mind.

When my Mom and Dad walked quietly down the hall to their bedroom, I began to relax. I snuggled under the covers, listening to their voices behind the wall - gentle night-time conversation - and I felt safe. My eyes closed and I slept peacefully.

So many years have passed since I was that fearful little girl, but I know she has not gone away. She still lives somewhere deep in my heart. Some nights she comes to me - just as I slip into bed pull the covers up and turn out the lights. A ripple of fear races across my soul and all the anxieties and cares, the worries about an uncertain future, cause my heart to race.

Then I "hear" Him walk quietly down the hall and over to our bed. He whispers words of promise that were written across my heart long ago. And I find peace.

"When I remember Thee on my bed, I meditate on Thee in the night watches."
Psalm 63:6

"Let me hear of your unfailing love each morning. for I am trusting You..."
Psalm 143:8

Blessings,
Linda

10 comments:

  1. you are invited to follow myn blog

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  2. i liked hearing the sound of voices as well.
    cute photo.

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  3. Linda, I understand what you're talking about. I think it's common for us girls/women to have a bit of that type of anxiety. But I like the reminder that Jesus is there, always, by our side. "Be strong and of good courage", as the verse goes. {hugs}

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  4. Love that
    reminds me of the fear I felt in the camper in my last post
    I have never been shy
    but....I can be afraid at night....can't imagine what it would be like without hubby (o:
    My Mom was alone (without husband) for almost 50 years
    never afraid...she just plain could not imagine why any one would be
    I never saw her cry....ever
    I am soooo different

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  5. Reading your story took me back to my childhood. Being the only girl, I often thought it was somewhat unfair that my 3 brothers got to share a room, because I knew they had each other and were not afraid at night like I was. When fear gripped me, I remember praying until I fell asleep. Wish I could know what God thinks about the prayers of a scared child. I bet He loves holding us the most during those times.

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  6. Fear was a big part of my life for oh so long. Too long. I remember needing to be all covered up at night so that nothing would "get me." And then, somehow, God showed me these wonderful words, "God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind." Fear still likes to linger around the edges of my life, but now I know where it comes from and I know where to send it.

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  7. Linda, your writing blesses me every single time! What a comfort to know that we need no longer be afraid... for the Prince of Peace is our champion and our strength!

    Rejoicing with you today over unfailing love! Have a beautiful weekend~

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  8. Meditating on Him! That will calm all of our fears! :) Lovely post Linda!

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  9. What a beautiful post, Linda! I love the analogy of the security you found in your parents' voices and in hearing His voice. I, too, was afraid at night at times, and at an early age I learned to find security in reading Psalms 91. It's still one of my favorite chapters.

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  10. That is THE most darling picture. Captures the essence of sweet, shy you. Well, you have a steadiness about you though that's anything but shy. :)

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