It has been a long, exhausting two weeks. It is difficult to describe in one word but the one that comes to mind is stressful. Many times during the process I thought of Pa and Ma Ingalls. When that inevitable urge to move hit Pa, they simply loaded all their earthly belongings into a small covered wagon, lifted in the girls, whistled for the dog and headed west. We seem to be burdened by an abundance of things!
There have been a couple of very difficult, unexpected complications, and I found myself simply coming undone. I did all of the things I know I shouldn't do. I worried, I allowed fear to overwhelm my heart, I imagined all sorts of ways everything was going to go wrong, and I forgot whose child I am.
My practical, wise, deeply spiritual Pastor, quite without knowing my need, reminded me of it last evening. He took us to the seventeenth chapter of John and Jesus' prayer for His disciples and for you and me. On the eve of His betrayal and the journey to the cross, He poured out His heart to His Father - and we were on His mind.
The first time I read this prayer with understanding I wept. It is such a beautiful prayer filled with a love that is beyond comprehension. It is deeply personal and cannot fail to move the most indifferent of hearts.
In the fifteenth verse Jesus makes this request of His Father:
"I'm not asking You to take them out of the world, but to keep them safe from the evil one."
Knowing all that the enemy would be likely to throw at me, He prays for my safety. He looked ahead in time and saw the ways and the times that I would feel abandoned and afraid. He placed my life, your life, in the hands of the One He loved more than His own life.
Implicit in His words is the promise that He continues to pray for us - for our safety. He lives to make intercession for us. When it seems as though my world is falling apart around me, He is praying. When I am fearful of what the future holds, He assures me that He is already there - waiting to help me through. When I feel abandoned, He reminds me of His promise to never leave me or forsake me.
Quietly sitting listening to the words of Jesus, I felt my heart begin to slow and rest. I confessed my sin to a Father who has already covered it with His grace. And He gave me His peace.
Linking to Michelle's Hear It On Sunday. Live It On Monday.
Glad to be back. I've missed every one of you.
picture: our apartment complex - home while we wait for our new house to be built