Thursday, September 6, 2012

A Glass Half-full



I have always been a girl who sees the glass half-full - a dreamer, spinning hope and happiness. I'm older now, and life has knocked hard causing some of the precious liquid to spill from the glass. For long seasons I hold steady, but inevitably they come - those days when it is hard not to focus on the empty part.

I wake and before I can take a deep breath the fog rolls in, blotting out even the tiniest ray of sunlight. "I cannot do this for another day," I whisper to Him. I'm not even sure what the "this" is. It is a nebulous compilation of the dull repetition of daily life, the doctor appointments I am weary to death of, a debilitating  feeling of mediocrity, a fear that I will one day stand before a pile of wood, hay and stubble that has turned to ashes.

I carry the folding chair out onto the front porch, along with my Bible and Bible study book. A breeze causes the branches of the oaks to dance in the sunlight. A hummingbird soars in for a drink. I bow my head and am overwhelmed by a palpable sense of His presence in this quiet place.The tears come.

He gently reminds me of words I copied into a notebook only days ago:

"It is not what a man does that determines whether his work is sacred or secular, it is why he does it. The motive is everything.
 Let a man sanctify the Lord God in his heart and he can thereafter do no common act... For such a man, living itself will be sacramental and the whole world a sanctuary."
A.W. Tozer

I close my eyes, acknowledging truth - truth He has been gently pressing into my heart. Those seasons, when the glass tilts alarmingly in the wrong direction, come when self  looms large. It is self who cries out for approval, for a day with dreams and desires fulfilled, for significance in the things I do. The "why" is me when it ought to be Him.

He is forever doing things in ways that seem backward to my needy self. The mystery is - the "backward" is the very thing I've been longing for. When I give everything back to Him, even when my heart says, "I don't want to..." or "I want..." the glass steadies. He takes the mundane and converts it into heavenly. He takes the small and lifts it up - in His way, in His time. He replaces fear with incomprehensible peace. He counts every small act done with a heart toward Him as gold.

He offers a glass filled to overflowing and says, "Come drink."

Linking to Emily's imperfect prose today.

Blessings,
Linda

picture from my sweet friend Patricia 




11 comments:

  1. This summer has been so trying for us that many times I have felt the glass half empty so why try to get up in the morning and start over. I also think of the pile of ashes. Thank you for these encouraging words.

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  2. oh, this is a familiar story.
    "living itself will be sacramental and the whole world a sanctuary." let it be!

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  3. Those seasons, when the glass tilts alarmingly in the wrong direction, come when self looms large....and from there you speak truth into me as well...thanks for sharing the wisdom you gleened...smiles.

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  4. You know I know this, Linda...so grateful that our Lord meets us where we are and in His kindness turns our hearts to Him - knowing it's where we will find joy and purpose and meaning.

    I loved seeing that photo as I scrolled down my blog reader to your post. So happy you could use it. xox

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  5. Your shared thoughts are an excellent reminder.

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  6. Yes, Linda... I too understand this season. I have been through it, just to come back again. And HE has been there each step of the way. Aren't we blessed? Can you even imagine going through this without HIS love?!

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  7. ". . . the whole world a sanctuary." What more could we want?

    Beautiful, Linda.

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  8. oh linda. if only i could find the time to visit here every day i know i'd be a wiser woman. you help me so much. you help me be a better follower of Christ. and that is no small thing. and i know you help so many more than me. it's all about making disciples, and that is something your blog is doing. love you friend.

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  9. I relate to this in every way, but I doubt that I could have said it so well, dear Linda.

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  10. just going down my reader on a rainy day.......stopped here... oh my... haven't read many blogs lately because I have been rocking babies and changing diapers

    so glad that I read this today...so often we spill from brokenness or from almost tipping too far into despair and in the mess we become a blessing to others...that is this post for me

    thank you

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